Today’s film is going to be 2006’s “Smokin’ Aces”, which is apparently a movie about a bunch of world class assassins trying to kill a mobster/magician who happens to be providing info to the feds. I’m pretty sure that when I bought this DVD 10 years ago, I really meant to buy “Lucky Number Slevin”. Based on the trailers, it was a similar concept that came out about the same time and had similar marketing (from what i remember). Once I bought it, I figured out it wasn’t the same film, which annoyed me to the point that I didn’t feel like ever watching it. I’ve probably looked at it on the shelf about a hundred times over the years, and it just didn’t seem appealing. Today I slogged through the thing, so let me give my thoughts. First, lets look at the trailer.
Let’s start with the cast, as that is probably the most interesting part of this movie for me. Top billed was Ben Affleck, in all his twenty-aught glory. With all due respect to the man, he had about 5-7 years of his career that was just… not great. 2006 was towards the end of that run. I think 2002 – 2003 was the rock bottom, with “Paycheck”, “Gigli”, “Daredevil”, and “Sum of All Fears”. Somehow he just always came off as an entitled jerk. Somehow by the end of the decade, he turned that around to become a likable dude. In 2010, he starred in “Company Men” and “The Town”, which are both amazing, and “Argo” came in 2012 which I still maintain is underrated despite its Academy Award. You’ll notice i dont talk much about his performance in this one, as he basically is just in this movie for about 30 minutes before getting absolutely blown away (by a fresh-faced Chris Pine, which I’ll talk about shortly). Hell, he was top-billed in this one! I don’t remember Ben Affleck being this big of a star, considering the hindsight view of the cast, he must’ve been popular as hell.
Second billing goes to a VERY young-looking Jason Bateman, who again is BARELY in this thing. I think this was right about the time Arrested Development was on the air, but even still, why is Jason freakin’ Bateman getting billed 2nd in a movie containing Ryan Reynolds and Tajari Henson? 2020 does not understand what the heck 2006 was thinking. Anyway, I think Jason Bateman is supposed to be a furry? If you dont know what that is, look it up. Anyway, Bateman is in this for a few minutes, and honestly I can’t remember what he adds to the ensemble. His part probably could’ve and should’ve been written out.
Their are a few more characters in here that seem to purely just be big names to pad the bill. Common, Andy Garcia, and Ray Liotta are technically in this, but they don’t have a lot going on. At least Ray Liotta gets shot, but Common basically just gives a lecture and carries Alicia Keys down some stairs. Andy Garcia just talks at an office, reads a file, and talks in a hospital. All 3 are pretty forgettable, and just reek of “how can we get more people to show up and watch this”.
There are 3 more listed that are actually of note… Ryan Reynolds, who in 2020 would without a doubt be listed first in the billing, especially with the limited screentime from Ben Affleck. He plays an FBI agent in this one, and he does a great job with the limitations of the script. Alicia Keys plays an assassin posing as a hooker trying to kill Buddy Israel, and she actually gets some pretty slick scenes where she gets her bad-ass on. And finally, we get to Buddy Israel himself… 2006’s Jeremy Piven.
I want to talk about this guy for a bit. Jeremy Piven of “Entourage” fame. Can we all remember back to 2006 when we thought this guy was a star? Seriously, I didnt even watch HBO and I knew who this guy was. Ari was everyone’s favorite character because he was such a jerk to everyone, but try watching that show through the eyes of someone in 2020, and you realize that Jeremy Piven might’ve been the most annoying character there. He got several pretty huge movies around this time, and it was always the same type of character; an angry businessman type who just says insane crap. It was great in Entourage as it seemed very Holllywood-esque, but in any other context it just is tiresome. Thank god we all kind of agreed that this guy needed to be used in small doses, because he is awful. Fortunately, he is basically just a mcguffin in this one, existing only to get all of the main assassin groups/cops in one place to kill each other.
Now, lets talk about two of the other main characters, where it comes off as INSANE that even in 2006 these two didn’t get higher billing. Taraji P. Henson plays the sniper support for Alicia Keys, and she is probably the best character in the movie. About 30 minutes in, she lectures a hotel clerk on how feminism should view prostitution, and it is probably the best dialogue in the movie.
Finally, I was floored when figured out Chris Pine was in this movie as a Neo-Nazi. We seem him early on, but he is full red-neck and part of a 3 person crew. Also about 30 minutes in (right before the aforementioned Taraji Henson rant), he rolls onto screen and unceremoniously slaughters Ben Affleck. I dint know it was him, but it became apparent right after this scene, and honestly this was the moment I was “in” for this one. I love seeing Chris Pine, even if he is playing a Neo-Nazi.
When it comes to the plot, I am at a loss for how to describe this one. Basically, Buddy “Aces” Israel is about to roll on his mob associates to the cops, so the mob ends up hiring a group of top level assassins to take him out, offering a million dollars to whoever can finish the job. The cops find out about it and try to take steps to protect the guy, and for some reason a bail-bondsman is trying to collect on him as well. So everyone finds out he is hiding in Lake Tahoe, NV, and they all run into one another at a resort in Nevada. AND thats pretty much it. Lot’s of gunplay, a Scooby Doo mask that is pretty dumb, some Neo-Nazis, and an assassin with one of those hidden blades from Assassins Creed. At points, so much was happening on-screen that I couldn’t have even described it to you; I’m curious if the sequences were planned out or if the director just said “make a bunch of bloody gunshot sequences in X location, and I’ll just splice it together”. Watching this movie makes me tired.
So, would I recommend this film to people? Well, I guess maybe… The cast is pretty strong, so if you like any of these actors, I say go for it. However, the plot is a bit overwrought. A bad plot isn’t necessarily enough for me to say don’t watch it, but the plot here is treated as somewhat important to the story. IF they just had a movie with virtually zero story about assassins coming together and trying to kill each other, I’d be down. Actually, that is the exact plot of “Shoot Em Up”, which I enjoy quite a bit. OR, the movie can be less of a bloodbath but go for a tight story, like “Lucky Number Slevin”. Great movie as well, with less of a superstar cast but a tight story and good dialog. This movie, though, tries to split the difference, and it just doesn’t quite work. Love the cast, not too high on the execution. So, i guess it isn’t all bad, but it definitely isn’t good. Watch it if you are bored, but this shouldn’t be a movie you seek out (or spend money on).
Also, I guess they made a direct-to-video sequel of this movie in 2010. I hope to never watch it, but in case you are curious, here is trailer. Not really sure who the market was for this.
Ain't That Bad - Movie Blog 